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Niedziela, 25 Stycznia;, 2009, 13:47

cz. 4

No i macie cz�� 4!
Wpiszcie na youtube ,,Z�y on" i w odpowiednim momencie w��czcie haha xD Wyobra�cie sobie ca�� sytuacj�!
Mi�ej podr�y do �wiata Lokiego !

Aha i przepraszam za to, jak si� przedstawia list, ale cho� na wordzie mia�am wszystko (odst�py, akapity itd.), to tu nie potrafi� doprowadzi� tego do �adu.

Jeszcze jedno! Bardzo dzi�kuj� za komentarze pod ostatni� notk�! Jestem jeszcze w lekkim szoku, a patrz�c na ilo�� wiadomo�ci pod Voldemortem dostaj� zawa�u. Nie, nie... nie przestawajcie Ja lubi� dostawa� zawa�u!

*******************************

Plotki z kaczusi� sta�y si� intymn� rozmow� na temat mojego �ycia osobistego.
-…i wtedy ona spojrza�a na mnie jak na psa i… i poczu�em jakby kto� wyla� na mnie kube� zimnej wody, co w sumie sta�o si� zaraz potem, bo zam�wiony drink polecia� mi na g�ow�. Spiorunowa�a mnie tym swoim spojrzeniem, a na koniec jeszcze tak zamruga�a nerwowo, a ja… ja jestem taki samotny… nawet Violette na mnie krzyczy… to przykre, bo nie czuj� niczyjego ciep�a… nikt nie da mi buzi w cz�ko… chc� do mamy!
Zamilk�em. Zamilk�em pierwszy raz od dwudziestu minut. Patrzy�em w czarne, koralikowe ocz�ta kaczuszki i m�g�bym przysi�c, �e zadziornie wystawi�a mi j�zyk, kt�rego nie mia�a.
-OBIAD!
Ta kobieta, kiedy� mnie zabije, pomy�la�em i podpar�em si� ramionami o brzeg wanny. Koncentruj�c wszystkie swoje si�y na my�li ,,Wstawaj ty poszkodowany przez �ycie paso�ycie”, zdo�a�em stan�� na nogi i zachowa�, jako tak� r�wnowag�. Chwiejnym krokiem ruszy�em do drzwi i ju� po chwili szed�em korytarzem, kieruj�c si� zapachem pomidorowego sosu do spaghetti. Wypolerowana ��t� chusteczk� Violette kuchnia, l�ni�a ra��c� w oczy, pedantyczn� czysto�ci�. Na moment biel zla�a si� z biel� i zdawa�o mi si�, �e utkwi�em w wielkiej puszce wacik�w, jednak po chwili do moich oczu dotar�a wielka niebieska bry�a w r�owe kwiatki, kt�r�, jak si� po chwili okaza�o, by�a pupa Violette. Kobieta schyli�a si� do najni�szej p�ki lod�wki i mamrota�a nerwowo co�, co brzmia�o mniej wi�cej jak ,,Gdzie do diaska jest ten ser…”. Spojrza�em przelotnie na zwi�zane z�otymi sznurkami bia�e firanki, zdrowe, kolorowe kwiatki w okr�g�ych doniczkach i ma�y stoliczek, przy kt�rym sta�y dwa niskie, plastikowe krzes�a.
-Violette, gdzie s� krzes�a?
To, co nast�pi�o potem, ledwo zosta�o zarejestrowane przez m�j m�zg. J�kni�cie b�lu, g�o�ne kopni�cie, lataj�ce przez pok�j drzwiczki lod�wki, rozerwana sp�dnica i wielkie koronkowe majtki, nast�pnie szereg okrzyk�w, z kt�rych nie zrozumia�em ani jednego s�owa. Podnios�em r�k� i uderzy�em si� w twarz maj�c nadziej�, �e pomo�e mi to w rozruszaniu kom�rek odpowiadaj�cych za rozumienie s��w, kt�re najwyra�niej zrobi�y sobie drzemk�. Podzia�a�o.
-… m�wi�am, �eby nigdy mnie tak nie zachodzi� od ty�u! M�wi�am! Jestem starsz� kobiet�, mam swoje lata! Takie niespodziewane naskoki s� niewskazane dla mojego s�abego serca! Krzes�a s� u tapicera! To nie pow�d, �eby prowokowa� u mnie wylew! To jest chore! Jak ja mog� pracowa� w takich warunkach?! No jak?! To si� nie mie�ci w g�owie! Gdyby nie du�e p�ace ju� dawno by mnie tu nie by�o! Zachowuje si� pan jak m�j czwarty m��! On kiedy� tak podszed�… wie pan, co si� sta�o? Z przera�enia wyci�gn�am przed siebie r�ce, a on wypad� przez okno! Chce pan tak sko�czy�?!- Gro�nie zmru�y�a oczy i impulsywnie gestykulowa�a ka�de s�owo. Naturalnie zapatrzy�em si� na jej wielkiego czarnego, pieprzyka, kt�ry zdawa� si� w�cieka� wraz z w�a�cicielk�. Tylko nie wybuchnij, tylko nie wybuchnij, prosi�em tak szczerze, jak jeszcze nigdy. – Czy pan mnie w og�le s�ucha?!
-Yyy… tak, Violette… oczywi�cie… Prosz� pozw�l mi…
Podszed�em do niej i wyci�gn��em r�d�k�. Patrzy�a na mnie z przera�eniem mamrocz�c nieme ,,nie”, kiedy ko�cem r�d�ki dotkn��em jej pieprzyka.
-Hetrikus mutalus papeno!
Z ko�ca r�d�ki buchn�� snop z�otych iskier. Odsun��em gwa�townie r�k� i wpatrywa�em si� w skrawek �wiat�a, kt�ry otacza� pieprzyk. Znami� stawa�o si� coraz bardziej kremowe i r�wna�o si� z powierzchni� sk�ry.
-Widzisz Violette. Wystarczy�o ma�e zakl�cie.
-Do czego?
-Do usuni�cia tego ohydnego pieprzyka, ale ju� si� nie martw. Usun��em go.
-Jakiego pieprzyka?
To, co dzia�o si� potem by�o gorsze od tapicerskiej awantury ,,krze�larskiej”. Najpierw wielki wybuch. Wsz�dzie wok� mg�a i jaskrawe drobinki fioletowych p�omyczk�w. Kiedy mg�a opad�a odrzuci�o mnie do ty�u tak, �e cudem trafi�em na krzes�o, bo przez moment mia�em stu procentow� pewno��, �e wyl�duj� na zimnych, bia�ych kafelkach kuchni. Violette trzyma�a si� za twarz. W pewnym momencie opu�ci�a d�onie. Zamiast pieprzyka by�… ogromny r�owy kwiatek, kt�ry… �piewa� piosenk� ,,Z�y on” w nawet lepszym wykonaniu ni� samego �ozo.
Kr�ci�, wkr�ci�, uwodzi� i n�ci�,
Kr�ci�, wkr�ci�, uwodzi� i n�ci�!
-CO PAN ZE MN� ZROBI�?!
-Ja… Violette ja to naprawi�… naprawd�… ju� si� za to bior�…- bredzi�em nie do ko�ca wiedz�c, co m�wi� i robi�. Ju� podnosi�em r�k� z r�d�k�, kiedy kobieta krzykn�a jednym ze swoich wrzask�w, kt�re rozumia�y tylko delfiny (Co mnie napad�o na te g�upie ryby?!).
-NAWET SI� PAN NIEWA�! WYTRZYMA�AM ZAMIENIENIE MOICH SUKNI W SK�PE SZATKI, ZNIOS�AM SPALENIE MOICH WA�K�W, MACHNʣAM R�K�, KIEDY WYSADZI� PAN MOJ� MIOT�� W POWIETRZE, ALE TO… TO JEST POWY�EJ MOJEJ WYTRZYMA�O�CI! JA…
-Nie Violette! Nie m�w tego…
-ODCHODZ�!
-Nie! Prosz� nie! Violette! Nie, nie, nie! B�agam!
Kiedy pakowa�a swoje rzeczy czo�ga�em si� za ni� po pod�odze w rytm piosenki.
Robi�, uprawia�, wci�� si� zabawia�,
Gry��, ca�owa�, na g�rze dominowa�!
Ob�apia�, testowa�, wszystko zdejmowa�,
Wznieca�, zapina�, gasi�, przegina�,
Uje�d�a�, poskramia�, w przerwach co� nuci�,
Wyj�� do sklepu i ju� nigdy nie wr�ci�!
Trzask drzwi i ju� jej nie by�o. Niczym szczerbaty staruszek p�acz�cy nad ostatnim z�bem powlek�em si� do pokoju. Rzuci�em si� na ��ko i wpatrywa�em w sufit.
-Nie �am si�- powiedzia�o jedno z moich plakatowych osobowo�ci- jak kocha, to wr�ci.
-Zamknij si�- warkn��em i g��boko westchn��em.
By�em w �azience i w�a�nie kr�ci�em loczki. Spojrza�em w lustro, a tam zobaczy�em r�owego kwiatka ta�cz�cego taniec Hula nad spaghetti. �piewa� wci�� piosenk� ,,Z�y on” i li�ciem wskazywa� na prawo. Odwr�ci�em g�ow� wpatruj�c si� w ma�� szafk�, gdzie trzyma�em r�czniki. Nagle szafka si� otworzy�a, a spod r�cznik�w wyros�a posta� Violette. Krzycza�a co� o jakim� li�cie…
-List… list… LIST!
Szybko podnios�em si� z ��ka, co spowodowa�o lekkie za�mienie i upadek przed biurkiem, ale w ostatniej chwili str�ci�em r�k� list.

Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart,
Sypialnia,
B��kitny dom,
Ul. Pok�tna 7/3,
Londyn.

Siedz�c na pod�odze rozdar�em �apczywie kopert�. Plakaty na �cianach wyci�ga�y szyj�, aby m�c odczyta� wiadomo��.

23. 08. 1992r.
Szanowny Gildeoroy Lockhart.
Z przyjemno�ci� pragn� poinformowa�, i� pa�skie najnowsze dzie�o ,,Moje magiczne ja” ju� 22 tydzie� znajduje si� na li�cie bestseller�w.
W zwi�zku z t� mi�� sytuacj� serdecznie zapraszam na uroczyste spotkanie w ksi�garni ,,Esy i Floresy”, gdzie odb�dzie si� spotkanie z fanami. Na miejscu b�dzie reporter ,,Proroka codziennego” , kt�ry pod nazwiskiem samego Ministra prosi o wywiad i zdj�cie na ok�adk�. Uroczysto�� odb�dzie si� 24. 08. 1992r. o godzinie 14:00. Oczekuj� szybkiej (mam nadziej�, �e pozytywnej) odpowiedzi.
Serdecznie pozdrawiam i zapraszam.
Euzebiusz Florenc

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