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Czwartek, 13 Maja, 2010, 15:20

25. Nowy pocz�tek

Witajcie po baaardzo d�ugiej przerwie. Nie b�d� si� t�umaczy� czemu mnie tak d�ugo nie by�o. Wa�ne, albo mo�e raczej przykre jest to, �e podczas tej przerwy straci�am pomys�y, wen� i inspiracj�. Dlatego ta notka jest ostatnia. Nie chcia�am zostawia� niedoko�czonego pami�tnika. Ale to ju� koniec. Napisa�am ju� do ZKP aby po jakim� czasie przenios�o ten pami�tnik do archiwum, gdy� nie chc� aby kto� inny go przejmowa�, bo to jednak ja go tworzy�am od podstaw. Przepraszam.
Je�li b�dziecie mieli ochot�, to wejd�cie na mojego drugiego bloga: www.isabella-swan-cullens.blog.onet.plTematyka zmierzchowa. Serdecznie zapraszam.
Jeszcze raz przepraszam za przerw� i za to, �e to ju� ostatnia notka.

************************

„Sobota, 21 marca
Nowy pami�tnik, nowy rozdzia�, nowy pocz�tek, nowe �ycie. Tak mo�naby opisa� m�j dzisiejszy prze�omowy dzie�. Od czterech lat nie mia�am nadzieji, �e mi si� polepszy. Od czterech lat �y�am zamkni�ta w sobie, my�l�c o wszystkim i o niczym; rozwa�aj�c ka�dy sw�j ruch, oddalaj�c si� cz�sto od rzeczywisto�ci. Wszystko to ze wzgl�du na chorob� z kt�rej si� wyleczy�am, ale o kt�rej nie zapomnia�am. Przez d�ugi czas, ka�dy ruch i ka�de s�owo przypomina�o mi o niej. Ba�am si� snu, nie chc�c zn�w mie� dziwnych obraz�w przed oczyma, nienawidz�c r�wnocze�nie nocy, kt�r� kiedy� tak bardzo kocha�am. Po czterech latach troch� mi przesz�o, jednak ca�y czas jaka� cz�stka mojej dzuszy czuje pustk� i l�k po tamtych wydarzeniach. Jest ona g��boko schowana, prawie niezauwa�alna, ale jednak istnieje.
Nazywam si� Roxanne Weasley i mam 15 lat. W wieku jedenastu lat zachorowa�am na now� wtedy chorob�, znan� jako Nubisomnus Morbi. Jako, �e by�am jedn� z pierwszysch os�b kt�re na ni� zachorowa�y, uwa�a�am si� za wyrzutka od kt�rego wszyscy stroni�. Pogorszy�o mi si�, gdy moja kole�anka z dormitorium – Angel – boj�c si� w jej mniemaniu zarazi� si� ode mnie, zmieni�a pok�j. Od tamtego czasu ci�gle ze mnie drwi i jest nieprzyjemna. Pomimo wsparcia tr�jki wspania�ych przyjaci� – Jen, Mikela i Jamesa – by�o mi z tego powodu bardzo przykro i bardzo ci�ko. Kiedy�. Od jakiego� czasu da�am sobie spok�j, widz�c, �e ona odwr�ci�a si� ode mnie raz na zawsze, a naszej znajomo�ci nie da si� odbudowa�.
Dzisiaj wyje�d�am do nowej szko�y Magii i Czarodziejstwa. Dotychczas chodzi�am do Hogwartu w Anglii. Jednak rodzice, a mianowicie m�j tata, ze wzgl�du na prac� musi si� przeprowadzi� doW�och. Jego sklep prosperuje i ma prowadzi� drugi taki sam, w�a�nie w tym kraju. Oczywi�cie mama jedzie z nim, wi�c ja tak�e. Rodzice m�wi�, �e dzi�ki znajomo�ci j�zyka portugalskiego b�dzie mi �awtwo za�apa� w�oski, gdy� s� one bardzo podobne. Zawsze b�d� te� mog�a sobie dopom�c francuskim i angielskim. Mam nadziej�, �e dam rad�, jednak pomimo wszystko, troch� si� boj�. Boj� si� tego, �e sobie nie poradz�. Zreszt� Hogwart ju� dawno sta� si� moim domem. Mam tu przyjaci�, znam nauczycieli, wiem jak si� odczepi� od Irytka... A tam? Tam wszystko b�dzie nowe. Nieznane. Inne.”

*****

- Naprawd� musisz tam jecha�?
- James, przecie� ci m�wi�am, �e nie mam wyboru. – odpowiedzia�am zbola�ym g�osem.
- Ale dlaczego nie mo�esz hodzi� tutaj do szko�y, a do W�och je�dzi� tylko na wakacje? – wci�� pyta�a Carmen.
- Nie wiem. – odpowiedzia�am szczerze. – Rodzice chc� abym by�a bli�ej nich, ale ja tego nie pojmuj�. W ko�cu i tak wi�kszo�� czasu b�d� w szkole, a nie z nimi.
- No c�.... Nie zapomnij o nas. – Mike’owi tylko tyle uda�o si� z siebie wydusi�.
- Czy ty sobie ze mnie kpisz? – pr�bowa�am uda� oburzon�. – B�d� was m�czy� listami tak d�ugimi, �e McGonagall b�dzie si� zastanawia� czemu macie podkr��one oczy! – pogrozi�am palcem ze �miechem, cho� wcale nie by�o mi do �miechu. Mia�am opu�ci� Hogwart za pi�� minut.
- Roxy... Kocham ci�, wiesz?
- Wiem Jen. Ja ciebie te�.
- Mam nadziej�, �e przyda ci si� ten nowyh pami�tnik. Kupi�am go dla ciebie specjalnie na t� okazj�. Aby� o nas nie zapomnia�a.
- Dzi�kuj� Jen. Na pewno si� przyda. Nie chc� by� tak zamkni�ta w sobie jak dotychczas. B�d� du�o w nim pisa�. Obiecuj�. Zreszt� ju� tam jest pierwszy wpis. – U�miechn�am si�.
- W takim razie pewnie widzia�a� co jest na ostatniej stronie? – spyta� Mike.
- Eeeee... Nieee...
- No to zobacz.
Wyci�gn�am czerwony pami�tnik z mojego zapakowanego po brzegi kufra. Otworzy�am go i powoli przekartkowa�am na ostatni� stron�. A tam... A tam by�y r�ne zdj�cia na kt�rych widnia�am ja z moimi przyjaci�mi. A� zaniem�wi�am z wra�enia...
- Podoba ci si�? - spyta� James.
- Jest... Och, dzi�kuj� Wam tak bardzo! – Rzuci�am im si� na szyj�, ka�demu po kolei. Nagle, p�omienie w kominku Pokoju Wsp�lnego zaskwiercza�y niebezpiecznie i zrobi�y si� zielone.
Trzeba by�o si� rozsta�.
- �egnajcie. Albo raczej do zobaczenia. Przecie� jeszcze si� kiedy� spotkamy, prawda?
- Na pewno.
- �egnaj Roxanne Weasley. – powiedzieli ch�rem. Wzruszenie �cisn�o moje gard�o. Jeszcze nigdy nie zwr�cili si� do mnie pe�nym imieniem i nazwiskiem. U�miech�am si� tylko krzywo i wesz�am w zielone p�omienie. Po chwili znajdowa�am si� ju� w domu.

*****

Deszczowa pogoda dzia�a�a na mnie potwornie �le. Siedzia�am w�a�nie w poci�gu maj�cym mnie zawie�� do nowej szko�y. Szarobury �wiat za oknem oraz liczne krople deszczu nie pomaga�y zapomnie� o Hogwarcie, przyjacio�ach i l�ku przed innym zamkiem. O ile w og�le to mia� by� zamek. Nie wiem gdzi inne kultury ucz� magii. Mam wra�enie, �e Carmen m�wi�a kiedy�, �e wi�kszo�� szk� to zamki, ale na ile procent jest to prawda, tego nie wiedzia�am. Lada chwila mia�am si� znale�� na peronie, ale nie mog�am si� zebra�, aby pouk�ada� wszystkie powyci�gane w poci�gu rzeczy, kt�re jako tako dodawa�y mi otuchy, W ko�cu jednak, gdy poci�g zacz�� raptownie zwalnia�, wzi�am wi� w gar��, poupycha�am wszystkie rzeczy do kufra i wszy�am na korytarz.
Przez okna by�o wida� tyle co nic, poniewa� szarobury deszcz, do�� osobliwa rzecz w tych stronach, oraz g�sta mg�a przes�ania�y �wiat. Czeka�am na peronowym betonie rozgl�daj�c si� na wszysktie strony. Wed�ug McGonagall (wspominaj�c dyrektork� zrobi�o mi si� jeszcze bardziej smutno) mia� si� pojawi� jaki� „przewo�nik” ze szko�y, Kim ten przewo�nik by� nie mia�am poj�cia. Zapewne, jak sama nazwa wskazywa�a, przewozi� co�. Ale co? Jedzenie? Ksi��ki? Meble? Nie wiedzia�am. Nie mia�an nawet poj�cia jak ten kto� wygl�da.
Czeka�am tak jakie� pi�tan�cie minut. W ko�cu, z drugiego, ciemnego ko�ca peronu kto� wyszed�. S�dz�c po budowie by� to m�czyzna – �redniego wzrostu, barczysty, troch� przygarbiony. Mia� ciemnoszary, prawie czarny p�aszcz z kapturem, kt�ry zas�ania� jego twarz. Drgn�am. Troch� si� przestraszy�am. M�czyzna podszed� do mnie. Nie ukazuj�c twarzy, spyta� burkliwym tonem:
- Roxanne Weasley?
W odpowiedzi skin�am tylko g�ow�.
- Jestem przewo�nikiem. Mam ci� przywie�� do zamku.
„A wi�c jednak zamek.” – pomy�la�am. Ponowinie skin�am g�ow�. Przewo�nik skin�� na mnie r�k�, daj�c do zrozumienia �e mam i�� za nim. Tak te� zrobi�am. Przeszli�my do tego ciemnego ko�ca peronu. Ku mojemu wielkiemu zdziwieniu, zaczyna�a si� tam.... rzeka! A na niej dryfowa�a przymocowana lin� do kamiennego s�upka ��dka! Albo raczej nie ��dka, tylko batyskaf!
- A niech mnie! – wyrwa�o mi si� z ust. M�czyzna uni�s� metalow� klap�, kt�ra zas�anai�a wej�cie od g�ry, m�wi�c przy tym:
- To jest szkolna „Per�a”. – wskaza� woln� r�k� na batyskaf, wypowiadaj�c jego, a raczej jej imi�. – Co roku przewo�� ni� wszystkich uczni�w szko�y z, albo na peron. U�ywamy zakl�cia zmniejszaj�co-zwi�kszaj�cego, aby wszyscy si� zmie�cili. Zapraszam.
Wesz�am. Przewo�nik poszed� do pomieszczenia na prawo od wej�cia, przy kt�rym by� napis „Sterownia”, a ja posz�am do tego po prawej. By� to ma�y salonik z bia�ymi �cianami, dwoma czarnymi fotelami, szklanym stoliczku i bordowym dywaniku. By�o tu bardzo przytulnie, ale zimno. Usiad�am wygodnie w fotelu i zanurzy�am si� w rozmy�laniach...
Z odr�twienia wyrwa� mnie przewo�nik, oznajmiaj�c:
- Jeste�my na miejscu. Mo�esz wyj��. Zostaw baga�e.
Pos�usznie wysz�am z „Per�y” na przysta�. Przed sob� widzia�m szerok� rzek� – ze wzgl�du na zapadaj�cy ju� zmierzch, wydawa�a sie by� czarna. A potem odwr�ci�am si� i zobaczy�am Go. Na niedalekim, kamiennym wzg�rzu wznosi� si� zamek. Zaczyna�am nowe �ycie.


KONIEC

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