Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Monica wel Artanis

[ Powr�t ]

Wtorek, 07 Sierpnia, 2007, 22:04

Prawda to dopiero pocz�tek...

Sorki za nieobecno��, jestem troch� zabiegana. Ale macie teraz d�ug� nocie.Czekam oczywi�cie na krytyk� i...pochwa�y mog� by�. pozdro dla wszystkich a w szczeg�lno�ci dla Niki i dla przeciwniczki kropek... Jestem ich na�ogow� nad u�ywaczk� wi�c nic nie poradz�. Mam nadziej� �e poczekacie do nast�pnych ods�on tego pisad�a a'la Merry Sue - b�dzie wszystko wyja�nione w swoim czasie...pa.

C.D.Rozmowy....
Staraj�c sie robi� to, jak naj mniej inwazyjnie, gdy� �adne wtargniecie w czyj� umys� nie by�o mi�ym doznaniem, przekazywa�am Remusowi swoje s�owa...By�o to o wiele �atwiejsze ni� przekazywanie klarownych obraz�w...."m�wi�am" wi�c powoli i wyra�nie.

**Chc� Ci powiedzie�, �e nie wszystko jest, jak pewnie wiesz, tak proste jak czer� i biel. Ty b�d�c...kim jeste� nie musisz koniecznie by� zagro�eniem dla otoczenia...prawda?!**

Odczeka�am chwil�. Dr��co skin�� powoli g�ow�. Przymkn�am oczy.

**Ja te� nie jestem zwyk�� uczennic�. Ale nie jestem te� potworem...**

Cho� sama nie by�am do ko�ca tego taka pewna....

**Moje umiej�tno�ci wynikaj�ce z lat nauki i pewnych....zdolno�ci, nie s� niczym co, tak jak w Twoim przypadku, powinno by� wystawione na �wiat�o dzienne...rozumiesz?**
Po chwili ponowne kiwni�cie, tym razem dostrzeg�am na twarzy zrozumienie...Ale i w�tpliwo��. U�miechn�am sie ze zrozumieniem.
** To o co chcesz mnie zapyta�...Nie. Nie musisz sie obawia�. Nie czytam w Twoich my�lach. Pytanie masz wypisane na twarzy. Mam takie zasady.... nie chodz� w kr�tkich sp�dniczkach, nie jadam tego co jeszcze �yj�, ani nie przegl�dam w formie magazynu sportowego czyich� umys��w. Jasne!?**

Niezbyt przekonany po raz kolejny kiwn�� g�ow�.Tym razem z lekkim u�miechem.

** Musisz wiedzie�, �e dla kogo� nie posiadaj�cego perwersyjnych sk�onno�ci, przegl�d wspomnie� i my�li innego stworzenia, nie s� szczytem dobrze sp�dzonego czasu. Dziwisz sie? Ot�... gdyby� przypadkiem dowiedzia� si�, �e czyja� matka sypia obecnie z Twoim nauczycielem, lub �e kolega z tej samej sypialni podkochuje si� w Tobie... Nie spa� by� ju� chyba tak spokojnie.** [/i]

Rozdziawione malowniczo usta i otwarte szeroko przera�one oczy, �wiadczy�y o zrozumieniu sprawy. Chrz�kn�am w pi�� ukrywaj�c rozbawienie.

**To jeszcze s� drobnostki...- powa�niej�c doda�am-....z my�lami, cz�sto strasznymi, widzisz tam r�wnie� wspomnienia, oraz wi���ce sie z nimi emocje...cz�sto gorsze od koszmar�w...Nie s� to informacje z kt�rymi �atwo p�niej normalnie �y�...**

Remus, dot�d milcz�cy zrobi� skupion� min� i us�ysza�am ciche i nie wyra�ne...

**...sia�a� ogl..da� wiele umy...��w...**

- No nie docenia�am kolegi.- by�am szczerze zaskoczona....pozytywnie.
Uni�s� g�ow� z lekkim p�sem na policzkach.
-Czyta�em �e trzeba dobrze panowa� nad my�lami �eby s�owa uk�ada�y sie dla kogo� w wyra�ny ci�g.- jakby musia� sie usprawiedliwi� doda�- Du�o czytam wiesz?!
-Trudno nie zauwa�y�. Przewa�nie gdzie� sie szwendasz z ksi��ka pod pach�.-pos�a�am mu u�miech. Na chwil� zrobi� skupion� min� i spyta�.
-Sk�d wiesz co kryje si� w ludzkich umys�ach? M�wisz �e nie robisz tego, a tyle widzia�a�.
Bystrzacha-pomy�la�am.
-Czasami trudno jest tego nie robi�. Np.kiedy zagro�one jest Twoje, lub bliskich Ci os�b �ycie, a jedynym sposobem na obron� jest dowiedzie� sie czego� o przeciwniku, "zobaczenie" tego czego�.
*P�prawdy, p�ki co...s� dla Ciebie najlepsze, robaczku.* - pomy�la�am.

Jego spojrzenie wyra�a�o trosk� ale i mas� innych pyta�. Wyprzedzi�am je.
-S�uchaj. Nie b�d� Ci opowiada� o ca�ym moim �yciu, bo za kr�tko si� znamy. Poza tym s� sprawy, kt�re wol� zostawi� tylko sobie. Ok? Ty te�, jak i ka�dy, ma do tego prawo.
Popatrzy� na mnie troch� zawiedziony, ale po chwili u�miechn�� si� do mnie.
- Nie wyja�ni�a� mi jednak, co to za umiej�tno�ci posiadasz, a widz� �e to temat kt�rego usilnie unikasz.-wyszczerzy� z�by w u�miechu, rozpieraj�c si� wygodnie na swoim siedzisku.
*Cholera! Sama tego chcia�am, ch�opak jest uparty...*

===========================================================

-Jeste� uparty wiesz?!
U�miech...
-Wiem.
-To jest co�, czego i tak si� nie nauczysz szybciej ni� z jakie� 70lat...a i tak wtedy ju� nie b�dziesz mia� zbyt wiele czasu i energii na u�ywanie tego czego sie nauczy�e�.-pos�a�am mu jeden z moich u�miech�w a'la "daruj sobie"
-To, przepraszam �e pytam, jak ty si� tego nauczy�a�? -kpi�ce spojrzenie- Z prostej rachuby mia�aby� teraz jakie�......80/90lat?!
Moja twarz by�a nie przenikniona. Powoli z jego twarzy spe�za� u�miech, zast�puj�c go min� pe�n� nie�adnego niedowierzania....
-Nie czaruj, teraz to ju� kity wciskasz! - wyrzuci� z siebie
-A co? Chcia�e� odpowiedzi....
-Ale teraz przesadzasz, to jest niemo�liwe...- doda� ju� zdenerwowany.
-Uwierz mi, nie ma rzeczy niemo�liwych sa tylko trudne...
Odwr�ci�am sie i z zacz�am z wolna is� w stron� schod�w prowadz�cych na d�.
Us�ysza�am za sob� szmer i odg�os krok�w...I nagle....
B�ysk...odwr�t...Gest...odg�os przypominaj�cy dart� tkanin�...j�k...szybko wci�gni�te powietrze i wypuszczone z westchnieniem niedowierzania.............i.............cichy stukot upadaj�cej na kamienn� posadzk� r�d�ki....
Remus sta� kilka krok�w przede mn�, jego twarz by�a bez barwna, jakby ca�a krew z niej odp�yn�a. Sta�am z wyci�gni�t� w jego stron� r�k�, u�miechaj�c si� delikatnie. Jego r�d�ka le�a�a odrzucona moim zakl�ciem...
Jego spojrzenie uparcie tkwi�o w mojej pustej d�oni, na niedbale skierowanych palcach w jego kierunku....
-...j-jak?-g�os mu dr�a�
-Gdyby� s�ucha�....- westchn�am.
-Tylko dla tego �e u�y�am tego rodzaju magii, by�am w stanie odeprze� Tw�j atak, b�d� co b�d�.... w plecy- spojrza�am mu twardo w oczy.
-Przecie�...- zignorowa� sugesti� z mojej strony.
-Tak jak m�wi�, u�y�e� niewerbalnego zakl�cia, mia�e� przewag�....tylko �e ja nie potrzebowa�am �adnych formu�ek ani machania r�d�ka...to da�o mi szybko��.
-Ale sk�d wiedzia�a�?! - wreszcie jakby niewidzialne kajdany pu�ci�y, nagle i post�pi� kilka krok�w w moj� stron�....
-Nie wierzy�e�. Chcia�e� dowodu...To by�o nazbyt widoczne...nawet bez zagl�dania do Twoich my�li.
-A jednak!...-krzykn�� z triumfem -...wiedzia�em! Nie masz takich, niez�omnych zasad.
Co� we mnie przygas�o...a wiec o to mu chodzi�o. On wcale nie zamierza� sprawdzi� czy to co umiem jest prawd�. Chcia�a po prostu sprawdzi�...mnie....
Zrobi�o mi si�...wstyd....
-To nie tak jak my�lisz!- chcia�am naprawi� cokolwiek...
-Akurat! -podni�s� swoj� r�d�k� i wyprostowawszy si� spojrza� mi prosto w oczy - Nie wiem co chcesz osi�gn�� przez wciskanie mi tego wszystkiego, ale nie chc� wiedzie� nic wi�cej.
Chcia�am co� powiedzie�. Nie da� mi.
-Nie martw si�, wiem co to umowa...nie jestem tylko pewien co do Twojej obietnicy... Odwr�ci� sie i po prostu zbieg� schodami z wie�y zostawiaj�c mnie os�upia�� z ca�ym ba�aganem my�li.
Cholera! Jak to jest �e nasze intencje obracaj� si� tak �atwo przeciwko nam. Przecie� nie o to chodzi�o...Ugh!

Kot pojawi� si� jak zwykle znik�d.
-Oczywi�cie...gdyby� by�a mniej rozrzutna w s�owach.
-Zamknij sie!-warkn�am z zaci�ni�tymi w pi�ci d�o�mi.
-Masz jednak to co chcia�a�. Ten ch�opak ma w sobie honor. Nie zrobi nic przeciwko Tobie...tylko ju� nie pr�buj niczego polepsza�.
-Zje�d�aj stad!!!
-Tylko bez takich... - zni�y� niebezpiecznie cicho g�os - ...niepotrzebnych emocji.
Natychmiast zmitygowa�am dodaj�c cicho i spokojnie...
-Wiem...ale, on te� nie jest tak do ko�ca fair...uderzy� w plecy.
Cichy �miech i odpr�ony g�os- �adnego �ladu zniecierpliwienia.
-A czego sie spodziewa�a�?! Przecie� to Huncwot.
Zerkn�am na niego uwa�nie. Nie wykazywa� zaniepokojenia. Nic w jego postawie nie wskazywa�o na to, �eby�my musieli przejmowa� si� tym incydentem.
Odwr�ci�am twarz w stron� jeziora...s�o�ce przygasa�o...od strony wody dolecia� mnie ch�odny powiew wiatru i �miechy wracaj�cych z b�oni uczni�w...przymkn�am oczy.
*Nie umiem tak �atwo nie przejmowa� si� czyimi� emocjami....* -westchn�am
-Remus....

Do nast�pnego. Pa

Komentarze:

In a meeting <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-cheap-propecia-ggp ">cheap propecia yls</a> Weiner acknowledged Tuesday at the news conference that he had sent explicit messages and photos to a woman after he resigned from Congress in 2011 for similar reasons, but he said the behavior is now behind him.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-cheap-propecia-wnp ">purchase propecia evs</a> I didn’t think it was so bad in the beginning, but now through my mother’s eyes, and compared to the mom-made marvels a few friends had turned in, I saw the truth.  My tambourine fell flat next to the enormous brass colored papier-mâché tuba another classmate had created.  

Do you like it here? <a href=" http://www.it-projektai.eu/?order-fosamax.pptx ">order fosamax online</a> Herbert, born in Uniondale, L.I., said he sketched in high school, but it was never his intention to make a living out of his art. He never went to college and instead dreamed of becoming a voice-over actor.

The National Gallery <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?buy-endep-online.pptx#grin ">buy endep online australia</a> Third Point began building a stake in Yahoo! in 2011, amassing around 5pc at between $13 and $15 a share. He then used that muscle to lobby for a change of leadership at the company, which was once the darling of the stock market but had fallen behind newer technology companies such as Google and Facebook.

I've got a full-time job <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/cheap-ventolin-vby/ ">order ventolin qjd</a> However, this was countered by decent performance at GLG, which contributed to FUM growth of $0.3 billion as the majority of its alternative strategies delivered positive performance over the quarter.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-propecia-online-sxl ">order propecia online ora</a> This highly extraordinary, almost inconceivable, rate of diversification even caused Charles Darwin to experience sleepless nights as he tried to piece the evolutionary puzzle together. The abrupt appearance of Cambrian fauna was also used by creationists to denounce the theory of evolution.

How much is a First Class stamp? <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-fqm/ ">buy ventolin zgv</a> He also said it is unlikely that MMX will sell its port nearRio de Janeiro separately as the buyer risks not having enoughiron ore to move through the terminal without ore from MMX'sSerra Azul project, which is linked to the port by rail.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-online-ayi/ ">order ventolin qjm</a> * Some of Canada's biggest retailers are warning that aforeign retail invasion signals what one executive calls a"bloodbath" in Ontario that threatens to spill over into therest of Canada. Ontario has been ground zero of the retailbattle after U.S. discounter Target Corp opened itsfirst Canadian store in the province in March, before moving onto Western provinces. ()

How do you spell that? <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-propecia-qyz ">cheap propecia jwd</a> Several markets are still struggling with high foreclosurerates, which depress prices. They are generally "oldermanufacturing towns with stagnant or shrinking population andcontinuing job losses," according to Ingo Winzer, president ofLocal Market Monitor. "Not surprisingly, home prices in thesemarkets continue to fall." Some noteworthy laggards include:
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/cheap-ventolin-vby/ ">buy ventolin pnh</a> The company's share of the global smartphone market has plummeted from a peak of 10.3 percent in the third quarter of 2011 to 2.6 percent in the most recent quarter, according to research firm Gartner.

I'm on work experience <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-ubv/ ">buy cheap ventolin ezl</a> So when Tea Party Republicans, bankrolled by a handful of billionaires, began calling the Affordable Care Act a "wholesale takeover of American health care," many Americans were inclined to believe them. Health care is such a huge and complicated system, affecting us and our families so intimately, that our inherent distrust of government makes us instinctively wary. It's no accident we're still the only advanced nation not to have universal health care. FDR decided against adding it to his plan for Social Security because he didn't want to jeopardize the rest of the program; subsequent presidents never got close, at least until Obama.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/propecia-online-pjt ">buy propecia online dut</a> A spokesman for the University of Leicester previously said their application "makes it clear that, if Richard was found, his remains would be reinterred at St Martin&#039;s Cathedral Leicester".

How many days will it take for the cheque to clear? <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/cheap-ventolin-euo/ ">ventolin online xtb</a> If he truly didn’t know what his lawyer had said, then shame on him for allowing someone he’s paying _ hugely, no doubt _ to potentially put damaging words in his mouth. And if he did know, which you have to believe is the case, the charges are too explosive for A-Rod to have tabled for even a day.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-online-ugz/ ">ventolin pdy</a> Scott Lehr, vice president and general manager of ATK'sDefense and Commercial Division, said the company would usematerials including high-strength, low-weight graphite compositecases and advanced propellants for the Orbital Sciences project.

Hold the line, please <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?where-to-buy-nizagara.pptx ">buy nizagara australia</a> "Nothing will diminish our commitment to Asia...we willcontinue to fulfill our responsibilities and our engagementaround the world," said Kerry, who is standing in for Obamaafter the president cancel his Asian trip.

Could you tell me my balance, please? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?savitra-10.pptx ">purchase savitra</a> Wal-Mart's U.S. manufacturing summit in Orlando, Florida inAugust featured speakers such as Commerce Secretary PennyPritzker and GE CEO Jeff Immelt. The meeting gave hundreds ofsuppliers the chance to meet with governors or economicdevelopment officials from 34 states, as well as two banks andone private equity firm.

My battery's about to run out <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?alprostadil-vr.pptx#support ">alprostadil congenital heart disease</a> Meteorologists with AccuWeather also warned that the U.S. territory of Puerto Rico would be hard hit, given that some 13 inches of rain already have fallen in the capital of San Juan since June, nearly twice the normal rainfall for that period.

I came here to study <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?savitra-10.pptx#forbidden ">savitra online</a> Even as some Fed members were downplaying the crisis and worrying about inflation, Yellen made a strong case for it to continue its unprecedented stimulus programs because the economy was too weak to stand on its own. When she became vice chairwoman of the Fed in 2010, she worked closely with Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke to continue that policy.

How much notice do you have to give? <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-cgp/ ">cheap ventolin jfm</a> "Deceased patients are handled with dignity and respect. It&#039;s a lot more clinical and everything&#039;s clean and tidy and all the bodies are refrigerated which preserves them prior to being collected by the undertaker."
<a href=" http://www.megliopossibile.com/buy-prozac-uvhq ">buy prozac vpal</a> This week’s paper on pensions is also expected to provide a response to warnings that cross-border pension schemes are facing a multi-
billion-pound black hole under EU rules that would kick in if Scotland voted to become independent.

Canada>Canada <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-online-ovw/ ">order ventolin online pma</a> "He would tell me 'I swear to God, I didn't do it,' and I believe him," said Edwards. "I did not see the side of him other people saw. He was friendly to me. And I had nothing to give him. I was just a redneck preacher out in the woods."
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/buy-cheap-ventolin-vsj/ ">buy cheap ventolin ceo
</a> In announcing his picks in the Rose Garden in June, Obama dismissed assertions that filling the three vacant seats constituted "court-packing," a term used to describe President Franklin Roosevelt's effort decades ago to move the court to the left ideologically by increasing the number of seats on the Supreme Court.

I'd like some euros <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-propecia-blj ">propecia ofr</a> The device is said to feature a 5-inch Super AMOLED display, 2GB of RAM and a dual-core processor. The site said that the company decided against including a quad-core processor due to battery life concerns.
<a href=" http://www.megliopossibile.com/buy-prozac-rjux ">buy prozac unvu</a> Those stimulus measures have kept interest rates low andbuoyed equity markets this year, but on Thursday, U.S. Treasuryyields hit two-year highs. Higher rates raise borrowing costsfor consumers and companies and reduce the attractiveness ofequities relative to higher-yielding bonds.

I'm training to be an engineer <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/buy-cheap-ventolin-odg/ ">ventolin online xdy</a> As part of a group of well-connected women called the Independent Women's Organization, she took to the street in a "Broom Brigade" in 1945, sweeping the streets to publicize the need to sweep out graft and corruption.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/cheap-propecia-jey ">buy propecia online jzn</a> I think Facebook is highly likely to reverse its decision (again!), partly because it seems to contradict its own rules which quite rightly also ban users from posting “hate speech, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence.”

Will I have to work on Saturdays? <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/buy-ventolin-gjw/ ">order ventolin ftz</a> The Sorkin-created workplace is a bewildering environment, rife with his trademark, detail-filled dialogue and breaking news events, most of which happened in the real world. Add to that a complex legal case that will thread its way through entire season.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-xxs/ ">ventolin agg</a> "I've seen all kinds of reporting suggesting that the departure of the chemical weapons team somehow opens a window for military action of some kind," Nesirky said. "Frankly, that is grotesque, and it's an affront to the more than 1,000 staff, U.N. staff, who are on the ground in Syria delivering humanitarian aid and who will continue to deliver critical aid."

I came here to study <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/propecia-soh#dorothy ">buy cheap propecia zmf</a> Bob Hensley, reporting for NPR, says that in issuing the state of emergency for the city of San Francisco and San Francisco County late Friday, Brown indicated the wildfire has damaged the electrical infrastructure in the Yosemite Valley that provides power to the Bay Area 150 miles to the west.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/buy-ventolin-online-zbv/ ">buy ventolin sil</a> "What has happened is that some companies have chosen to use an artificial mixture of chicken parts rather than low-fat chicken white meat, batter it up and fry it and still call it chicken," deShazo told Reuters Health.

Sorry, I'm busy at the moment <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/order-propecia-online-oir ">order propecia ztl</a> Brazil, which expects to get about $400 billion in royaltiesand other taxes from Libra over 30 years, sees the new rules,which apply to all new development in the Campos and Santosbasins near Rio de Janeiro, as a way to gain more control overnatural resources and finance improvements in health care andeducation.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/order-propecia-online-jfk ">propecia online eum</a> The Apple trade, the largest corporate bond in history,priced at a weighted average cost of under 2.00% - a stealcompared to the massive corporate tax Apple would have had topay to repatriate offshore cash for funding its capital returnprogram.

real beauty page <a href=" http://www.it-projektai.eu/?order-losartan.pptx ">order losartan</a> Further research came via Billy Connolly, who began his working life as a Clydeside welder. Over lunch the comedian/actor told Sting how welders, encased in reverb-friendly metal helmets and breathing in fumes, were &ldquo;all crazy and they all sang. That really tickled me.&rdquo; The resulting song, Jock the Singing Welder, &ldquo;is actually one of my favourite songs in the show&rdquo;. Other songs were written with Nail in mind &ndash; although Sting and the Auf Wiedersehen, Pet star both splutter at the thought that the no-nonsense Nail is anything as highfalutin as the musician&rsquo;s muse.

« 1 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 »

| Script by Alex