Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Monica wel Artanis

[ Powr�t ]

Wtorek, 07 Sierpnia, 2007, 22:04

Prawda to dopiero pocz�tek...

Sorki za nieobecno��, jestem troch� zabiegana. Ale macie teraz d�ug� nocie.Czekam oczywi�cie na krytyk� i...pochwa�y mog� by�. pozdro dla wszystkich a w szczeg�lno�ci dla Niki i dla przeciwniczki kropek... Jestem ich na�ogow� nad u�ywaczk� wi�c nic nie poradz�. Mam nadziej� �e poczekacie do nast�pnych ods�on tego pisad�a a'la Merry Sue - b�dzie wszystko wyja�nione w swoim czasie...pa.

C.D.Rozmowy....
Staraj�c sie robi� to, jak naj mniej inwazyjnie, gdy� �adne wtargniecie w czyj� umys� nie by�o mi�ym doznaniem, przekazywa�am Remusowi swoje s�owa...By�o to o wiele �atwiejsze ni� przekazywanie klarownych obraz�w...."m�wi�am" wi�c powoli i wyra�nie.

**Chc� Ci powiedzie�, �e nie wszystko jest, jak pewnie wiesz, tak proste jak czer� i biel. Ty b�d�c...kim jeste� nie musisz koniecznie by� zagro�eniem dla otoczenia...prawda?!**

Odczeka�am chwil�. Dr��co skin�� powoli g�ow�. Przymkn�am oczy.

**Ja te� nie jestem zwyk�� uczennic�. Ale nie jestem te� potworem...**

Cho� sama nie by�am do ko�ca tego taka pewna....

**Moje umiej�tno�ci wynikaj�ce z lat nauki i pewnych....zdolno�ci, nie s� niczym co, tak jak w Twoim przypadku, powinno by� wystawione na �wiat�o dzienne...rozumiesz?**
Po chwili ponowne kiwni�cie, tym razem dostrzeg�am na twarzy zrozumienie...Ale i w�tpliwo��. U�miechn�am sie ze zrozumieniem.
** To o co chcesz mnie zapyta�...Nie. Nie musisz sie obawia�. Nie czytam w Twoich my�lach. Pytanie masz wypisane na twarzy. Mam takie zasady.... nie chodz� w kr�tkich sp�dniczkach, nie jadam tego co jeszcze �yj�, ani nie przegl�dam w formie magazynu sportowego czyich� umys��w. Jasne!?**

Niezbyt przekonany po raz kolejny kiwn�� g�ow�.Tym razem z lekkim u�miechem.

** Musisz wiedzie�, �e dla kogo� nie posiadaj�cego perwersyjnych sk�onno�ci, przegl�d wspomnie� i my�li innego stworzenia, nie s� szczytem dobrze sp�dzonego czasu. Dziwisz sie? Ot�... gdyby� przypadkiem dowiedzia� si�, �e czyja� matka sypia obecnie z Twoim nauczycielem, lub �e kolega z tej samej sypialni podkochuje si� w Tobie... Nie spa� by� ju� chyba tak spokojnie.** [/i]

Rozdziawione malowniczo usta i otwarte szeroko przera�one oczy, �wiadczy�y o zrozumieniu sprawy. Chrz�kn�am w pi�� ukrywaj�c rozbawienie.

**To jeszcze s� drobnostki...- powa�niej�c doda�am-....z my�lami, cz�sto strasznymi, widzisz tam r�wnie� wspomnienia, oraz wi���ce sie z nimi emocje...cz�sto gorsze od koszmar�w...Nie s� to informacje z kt�rymi �atwo p�niej normalnie �y�...**

Remus, dot�d milcz�cy zrobi� skupion� min� i us�ysza�am ciche i nie wyra�ne...

**...sia�a� ogl..da� wiele umy...��w...**

- No nie docenia�am kolegi.- by�am szczerze zaskoczona....pozytywnie.
Uni�s� g�ow� z lekkim p�sem na policzkach.
-Czyta�em �e trzeba dobrze panowa� nad my�lami �eby s�owa uk�ada�y sie dla kogo� w wyra�ny ci�g.- jakby musia� sie usprawiedliwi� doda�- Du�o czytam wiesz?!
-Trudno nie zauwa�y�. Przewa�nie gdzie� sie szwendasz z ksi��ka pod pach�.-pos�a�am mu u�miech. Na chwil� zrobi� skupion� min� i spyta�.
-Sk�d wiesz co kryje si� w ludzkich umys�ach? M�wisz �e nie robisz tego, a tyle widzia�a�.
Bystrzacha-pomy�la�am.
-Czasami trudno jest tego nie robi�. Np.kiedy zagro�one jest Twoje, lub bliskich Ci os�b �ycie, a jedynym sposobem na obron� jest dowiedzie� sie czego� o przeciwniku, "zobaczenie" tego czego�.
*P�prawdy, p�ki co...s� dla Ciebie najlepsze, robaczku.* - pomy�la�am.

Jego spojrzenie wyra�a�o trosk� ale i mas� innych pyta�. Wyprzedzi�am je.
-S�uchaj. Nie b�d� Ci opowiada� o ca�ym moim �yciu, bo za kr�tko si� znamy. Poza tym s� sprawy, kt�re wol� zostawi� tylko sobie. Ok? Ty te�, jak i ka�dy, ma do tego prawo.
Popatrzy� na mnie troch� zawiedziony, ale po chwili u�miechn�� si� do mnie.
- Nie wyja�ni�a� mi jednak, co to za umiej�tno�ci posiadasz, a widz� �e to temat kt�rego usilnie unikasz.-wyszczerzy� z�by w u�miechu, rozpieraj�c si� wygodnie na swoim siedzisku.
*Cholera! Sama tego chcia�am, ch�opak jest uparty...*

===========================================================

-Jeste� uparty wiesz?!
U�miech...
-Wiem.
-To jest co�, czego i tak si� nie nauczysz szybciej ni� z jakie� 70lat...a i tak wtedy ju� nie b�dziesz mia� zbyt wiele czasu i energii na u�ywanie tego czego sie nauczy�e�.-pos�a�am mu jeden z moich u�miech�w a'la "daruj sobie"
-To, przepraszam �e pytam, jak ty si� tego nauczy�a�? -kpi�ce spojrzenie- Z prostej rachuby mia�aby� teraz jakie�......80/90lat?!
Moja twarz by�a nie przenikniona. Powoli z jego twarzy spe�za� u�miech, zast�puj�c go min� pe�n� nie�adnego niedowierzania....
-Nie czaruj, teraz to ju� kity wciskasz! - wyrzuci� z siebie
-A co? Chcia�e� odpowiedzi....
-Ale teraz przesadzasz, to jest niemo�liwe...- doda� ju� zdenerwowany.
-Uwierz mi, nie ma rzeczy niemo�liwych sa tylko trudne...
Odwr�ci�am sie i z zacz�am z wolna is� w stron� schod�w prowadz�cych na d�.
Us�ysza�am za sob� szmer i odg�os krok�w...I nagle....
B�ysk...odwr�t...Gest...odg�os przypominaj�cy dart� tkanin�...j�k...szybko wci�gni�te powietrze i wypuszczone z westchnieniem niedowierzania.............i.............cichy stukot upadaj�cej na kamienn� posadzk� r�d�ki....
Remus sta� kilka krok�w przede mn�, jego twarz by�a bez barwna, jakby ca�a krew z niej odp�yn�a. Sta�am z wyci�gni�t� w jego stron� r�k�, u�miechaj�c si� delikatnie. Jego r�d�ka le�a�a odrzucona moim zakl�ciem...
Jego spojrzenie uparcie tkwi�o w mojej pustej d�oni, na niedbale skierowanych palcach w jego kierunku....
-...j-jak?-g�os mu dr�a�
-Gdyby� s�ucha�....- westchn�am.
-Tylko dla tego �e u�y�am tego rodzaju magii, by�am w stanie odeprze� Tw�j atak, b�d� co b�d�.... w plecy- spojrza�am mu twardo w oczy.
-Przecie�...- zignorowa� sugesti� z mojej strony.
-Tak jak m�wi�, u�y�e� niewerbalnego zakl�cia, mia�e� przewag�....tylko �e ja nie potrzebowa�am �adnych formu�ek ani machania r�d�ka...to da�o mi szybko��.
-Ale sk�d wiedzia�a�?! - wreszcie jakby niewidzialne kajdany pu�ci�y, nagle i post�pi� kilka krok�w w moj� stron�....
-Nie wierzy�e�. Chcia�e� dowodu...To by�o nazbyt widoczne...nawet bez zagl�dania do Twoich my�li.
-A jednak!...-krzykn�� z triumfem -...wiedzia�em! Nie masz takich, niez�omnych zasad.
Co� we mnie przygas�o...a wiec o to mu chodzi�o. On wcale nie zamierza� sprawdzi� czy to co umiem jest prawd�. Chcia�a po prostu sprawdzi�...mnie....
Zrobi�o mi si�...wstyd....
-To nie tak jak my�lisz!- chcia�am naprawi� cokolwiek...
-Akurat! -podni�s� swoj� r�d�k� i wyprostowawszy si� spojrza� mi prosto w oczy - Nie wiem co chcesz osi�gn�� przez wciskanie mi tego wszystkiego, ale nie chc� wiedzie� nic wi�cej.
Chcia�am co� powiedzie�. Nie da� mi.
-Nie martw si�, wiem co to umowa...nie jestem tylko pewien co do Twojej obietnicy... Odwr�ci� sie i po prostu zbieg� schodami z wie�y zostawiaj�c mnie os�upia�� z ca�ym ba�aganem my�li.
Cholera! Jak to jest �e nasze intencje obracaj� si� tak �atwo przeciwko nam. Przecie� nie o to chodzi�o...Ugh!

Kot pojawi� si� jak zwykle znik�d.
-Oczywi�cie...gdyby� by�a mniej rozrzutna w s�owach.
-Zamknij sie!-warkn�am z zaci�ni�tymi w pi�ci d�o�mi.
-Masz jednak to co chcia�a�. Ten ch�opak ma w sobie honor. Nie zrobi nic przeciwko Tobie...tylko ju� nie pr�buj niczego polepsza�.
-Zje�d�aj stad!!!
-Tylko bez takich... - zni�y� niebezpiecznie cicho g�os - ...niepotrzebnych emocji.
Natychmiast zmitygowa�am dodaj�c cicho i spokojnie...
-Wiem...ale, on te� nie jest tak do ko�ca fair...uderzy� w plecy.
Cichy �miech i odpr�ony g�os- �adnego �ladu zniecierpliwienia.
-A czego sie spodziewa�a�?! Przecie� to Huncwot.
Zerkn�am na niego uwa�nie. Nie wykazywa� zaniepokojenia. Nic w jego postawie nie wskazywa�o na to, �eby�my musieli przejmowa� si� tym incydentem.
Odwr�ci�am twarz w stron� jeziora...s�o�ce przygasa�o...od strony wody dolecia� mnie ch�odny powiew wiatru i �miechy wracaj�cych z b�oni uczni�w...przymkn�am oczy.
*Nie umiem tak �atwo nie przejmowa� si� czyimi� emocjami....* -westchn�am
-Remus....

Do nast�pnego. Pa

Komentarze:

I live here <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?truth-about-enzyte.pptx#heel ">can i take 2 enzyte</a> School Superintendent William Lloyd said in a statement that a fifth grade boy sprayed an "unknown substance" in a classroom, prompting school officials to evacuate the building and call authorities. Nassau police, local firefighters and a HAZMAT unit all responded.

Incorrect PIN <a href=" http://www.expovorm.com/buy-prozac-canada.pptx ">buy prozac no prescription uk</a> LONDON, July 29 (Reuters) - Accountancy firm Deloitte haslost its appeal against a ruling that it failed to manageconflicts of interest in its advice to collapsed carmaker MGRover Group, in a decision it said could force all accountantsto examine what advice they can give.

I've got a part-time job <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?dapovar-uk.pptx#disguise ">side effects of dapovar</a> "The airlines didn't do them any favors in telling them,'Come work for us and we'll take care of you,'" said RobertWarner, a managing director at Cleary Gull Inc., a Milwaukee,Wisconsin, broker and advisory firm that has targeted pilotssince a former Eastern Airlines pilot joined the firm in 1998.

Could you send me an application form? <a href=" http://www.megliopossibile.com/buy-prozac-vwgp#rug ">buy prozac lbyr</a> Jury selection is expected to begin next spring and trial in October 2014, according to Dallas County District Court Judge Michael Snipes, who was named to preside over the case in Kaufman County, about 30 miles southeast of Dallas.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-online-dma/ ">order ventolin online hor</a> Pirozek, of Woodhaven, Queens, was a member of the Seaview Rotary Wings Club. The young man also had a YouTube channel dedicated to documenting his flights. His father was a founding member of the club, but was said to be inconsolable following the bizarre accident.

I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/cheap-propecia-zid ">propecia iuz</a> The Zetas operate in 16 different lines of business, both legal and illegal, he said, including pirated goods, importing contraband consumer goods and weapons trafficking. The Zetas reportedly use their turf in Cancun to smuggle Cuban migrants into Mexico, and their bases in northern Mexico to steal oil from government pipelines and sell it to refineries.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-ivv/ ">purchase ventolin jmo</a> The city estimates it has 78,000 "abandoned and blighted"structures, roughly one fifth of Detroit's housing stock, and38,000 are considered dangerous. This in an area of 139 squaremiles - big enough to fit Manhattan, Boston and San Francisco.

Not available at the moment <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-cheap-propecia-lrc ">cheap propecia pyb</a> In two bold examples showcasing how costly it is to build new reactors, Areva's European Pressurised Water Reactor (EPR) projects in Finland and in its home market in France are billions of euros over budget and years behind schedule.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/purchase-propecia-zbn ">cheap propecia rld</a> The rule was supposed to be completed 270 days after the law was enacted, but it has been delayed at the SEC by leadership changes, a heavy workload and the difficulties in crafting a workable crowdfunding proposal.

I saw your advert in the paper <a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-propecia-kui#soil ">buy cheap propecia igc</a> There were countless times he took a snap from center and ran for his life, knowing there was little chance to make the play that was called. And there were many long days and nights after too many losses when the pain just wouldn’t go away.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-kzy/#occasionally ">buy ventolin ygw</a> Health officials have said the yogurt is not a public health threat, but the company said last week the &ldquo;mold can act as an opportunistic pathogen for those with compromised immune systems.&rdquo;

Who's calling? <a href=" http://www.lessor.se/buy-excite-woman-fly.pptx ">excite woman fly</a> Actor Michael Clarke Duncan, the miraculous mountain of muscle in the Oscar-nominated film "The Green Mile," died on Sept. 3, 2012 in Los Angeles after a massive heart attack in July. The hulking 6-foot-5, 325-pound movie star passed away early in the day at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center at age 54, his rep confirmed to the Daily News. "(He) suffered a myocardial infarction on July 13 and never fully recovered," the rep said. Duncan previously worked as a bodyguard for Will Smith and Jamie Foxx and was hired to protect Brooklyn rapper Christopher (Notorious B.I.G) Wallace the night Wallace was murdered in Los Angeles. Duncan pursued acting full-time after that and scored an Oscar nomination for "The Green Mile." He also appeared in "Armageddon," "The Whole Nine Yards" and "Sin City."

What part of do you come from? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?72-hp-pill-side-effects.pptx ">does 72 hp pill work</a> As impressive as Merrick's display was, it was not enough to fend off Mahan, who capped his round in sizzling fashion with three straight birdies to knock his American compatriot from top of the leaderboard with a two-day total of 13-under 131.

I'd like to withdraw $100, please <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?72-hp-pill-side-effects.pptx ">purchase 72 hp pills</a> That’s why, by comparison, things were so simple with Cruz. He wanted the Giants, they wanted him and there was always an obvious middle ground for them to reach. But with Nicks, there are only opposite poles and a wide gap between them. Can the Giants gamble on an injury-prone player? Can they afford not to gamble on a player with big, soft hands and breakaway speed? Ask any member of the Giants organization what went wrong last season, and one of the top two reasons they’ll all give is that they never had a healthy Nicks.

I've got a part-time job <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?erectosil-gel.pptx#emotional ">erectosil erfahrungen</a> ICA Fluor, a joint venture between Mexican constructioncompany ICA and U.S. engineering firm Fluor Corp, haswon a contract to build a gas compression system at Mexico'sGulf coast port of Dos Bocas, ICA said on Thursday.

Other amount <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?erectosil-gel.pptx#pump ">erectosil 100 nebenwirkungen</a> The US military justice system has a mixed record when it comes to punishing its own, and in lieu of this watershed case, one that could have repercussions for decades to come, here&#39;s a look at what Wizner meant when he said it was a "sad day for all Americans."  

Do you need a work permit? <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?buy-levlen-ed-online.pptx ">buy levlen online</a> “I was delighted to receive confirmation on Friday afternoon that, following discussions with Yorkhill and the German medical facility who offer the trial treatment, around 90 per cent of the cost will be met by the NHS and that Mackenzie will be able to be treated here in Scotland.”

Jonny was here <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?vahard-cvs.pptx#hope ">vahard reviews</a> Yeah street level dealing has always been the main issue!?! (WTF!!!) These girls are the main issue Roger!! Delighted to see them banged up! It&#8217;s the first link in a drugs distribution chain that&#8217;s rarely seen broken & the more high profile, media-wise, the better!! Just hope the likes of RTE & TV3 don&#8217;t treat them like returning prisoners of war when they eventually do get out, by offering them their chance to offer up the same bullshit excuse that they pleaded guilty just to get through a shorter sentence&#8230;even though they&#8217;re still actually innocent!!

I can't stand football <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?erectosil-gel.pptx#provision ">erectosil 100 mg sildenafil</a> U.S. investors face barriers or ownership limits in about 90Chinese sectors, while Chinese companies seeking to invest inthe United States often fear a political backlash in Congress orrejection on national security grounds.

How much does the job pay? <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?buy-diamox-online-uk.pptx ">can you buy diamox over the counter in uk</a> London's Heathrow airport had submitted a plan to the UK's Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) seeking to raise tariffs for airlines by 4.6pc above inflation, as measured by the retail prices index (RPI), for the five years from April 2014.

Can I call you back? <a href=" http://www.it-projektai.eu/?order-diclofenac.pptx ">order diclofenac online</a> The South Korean group's unlisted Samsung Display unit couldbecome the biggest shareholder of Corning Inc, the makerof scratch-resistant Gorilla Glass used in many mobile gadgets,as part of a deal in which Corning buys Samsung Display out of a1995 joint venture making glass for liquid crystal displays.

What university do you go to? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?testofen-ingredients.pptx ">zma testofen</a> "It was impossible to get it near the hole," Scott said of his sand shot. "I was trying to hit it 50 feet long up near Justin&#39;s ball, but misjudged it a little bit and it came out so soft."

Can you put it on the scales, please? <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?buy-tofranil-online.pptx ">buy tofranil online</a> Ask.fm allows users to post anonymous questions and messages but has been criticised for not doing enough after several other teenagers took their lives - apparently after receiving abuse on the site.

What do you like doing in your spare time? <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-online-aeo/ ">ventolin xws</a> Throughout the weekend in Charlotte, there was as much talk about Talladega as there was the track at hand. Kenseth and Johnson realize that NASCAR's most unpredictable superspeedway might be a chance to finally break up their two-car tandem. The pack behind them knows it might be their last chance to gain any significant ground before the season's four-race homestretch run.
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-hrz/ ">buy ventolin online pcb</a> For the first time since apartheid ended in 1994, regulators banned a local feature film, saying the movie "Of Good Report" contained child pornography. This halted its screening this month at the Durban International Film Festival.

« 1 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 »

| Script by Alex