Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Monica wel Artanis

[ Powr�t ]

Wtorek, 07 Sierpnia, 2007, 22:04

Prawda to dopiero pocz�tek...

Sorki za nieobecno��, jestem troch� zabiegana. Ale macie teraz d�ug� nocie.Czekam oczywi�cie na krytyk� i...pochwa�y mog� by�. pozdro dla wszystkich a w szczeg�lno�ci dla Niki i dla przeciwniczki kropek... Jestem ich na�ogow� nad u�ywaczk� wi�c nic nie poradz�. Mam nadziej� �e poczekacie do nast�pnych ods�on tego pisad�a a'la Merry Sue - b�dzie wszystko wyja�nione w swoim czasie...pa.

C.D.Rozmowy....
Staraj�c sie robi� to, jak naj mniej inwazyjnie, gdy� �adne wtargniecie w czyj� umys� nie by�o mi�ym doznaniem, przekazywa�am Remusowi swoje s�owa...By�o to o wiele �atwiejsze ni� przekazywanie klarownych obraz�w...."m�wi�am" wi�c powoli i wyra�nie.

**Chc� Ci powiedzie�, �e nie wszystko jest, jak pewnie wiesz, tak proste jak czer� i biel. Ty b�d�c...kim jeste� nie musisz koniecznie by� zagro�eniem dla otoczenia...prawda?!**

Odczeka�am chwil�. Dr��co skin�� powoli g�ow�. Przymkn�am oczy.

**Ja te� nie jestem zwyk�� uczennic�. Ale nie jestem te� potworem...**

Cho� sama nie by�am do ko�ca tego taka pewna....

**Moje umiej�tno�ci wynikaj�ce z lat nauki i pewnych....zdolno�ci, nie s� niczym co, tak jak w Twoim przypadku, powinno by� wystawione na �wiat�o dzienne...rozumiesz?**
Po chwili ponowne kiwni�cie, tym razem dostrzeg�am na twarzy zrozumienie...Ale i w�tpliwo��. U�miechn�am sie ze zrozumieniem.
** To o co chcesz mnie zapyta�...Nie. Nie musisz sie obawia�. Nie czytam w Twoich my�lach. Pytanie masz wypisane na twarzy. Mam takie zasady.... nie chodz� w kr�tkich sp�dniczkach, nie jadam tego co jeszcze �yj�, ani nie przegl�dam w formie magazynu sportowego czyich� umys��w. Jasne!?**

Niezbyt przekonany po raz kolejny kiwn�� g�ow�.Tym razem z lekkim u�miechem.

** Musisz wiedzie�, �e dla kogo� nie posiadaj�cego perwersyjnych sk�onno�ci, przegl�d wspomnie� i my�li innego stworzenia, nie s� szczytem dobrze sp�dzonego czasu. Dziwisz sie? Ot�... gdyby� przypadkiem dowiedzia� si�, �e czyja� matka sypia obecnie z Twoim nauczycielem, lub �e kolega z tej samej sypialni podkochuje si� w Tobie... Nie spa� by� ju� chyba tak spokojnie.** [/i]

Rozdziawione malowniczo usta i otwarte szeroko przera�one oczy, �wiadczy�y o zrozumieniu sprawy. Chrz�kn�am w pi�� ukrywaj�c rozbawienie.

**To jeszcze s� drobnostki...- powa�niej�c doda�am-....z my�lami, cz�sto strasznymi, widzisz tam r�wnie� wspomnienia, oraz wi���ce sie z nimi emocje...cz�sto gorsze od koszmar�w...Nie s� to informacje z kt�rymi �atwo p�niej normalnie �y�...**

Remus, dot�d milcz�cy zrobi� skupion� min� i us�ysza�am ciche i nie wyra�ne...

**...sia�a� ogl..da� wiele umy...��w...**

- No nie docenia�am kolegi.- by�am szczerze zaskoczona....pozytywnie.
Uni�s� g�ow� z lekkim p�sem na policzkach.
-Czyta�em �e trzeba dobrze panowa� nad my�lami �eby s�owa uk�ada�y sie dla kogo� w wyra�ny ci�g.- jakby musia� sie usprawiedliwi� doda�- Du�o czytam wiesz?!
-Trudno nie zauwa�y�. Przewa�nie gdzie� sie szwendasz z ksi��ka pod pach�.-pos�a�am mu u�miech. Na chwil� zrobi� skupion� min� i spyta�.
-Sk�d wiesz co kryje si� w ludzkich umys�ach? M�wisz �e nie robisz tego, a tyle widzia�a�.
Bystrzacha-pomy�la�am.
-Czasami trudno jest tego nie robi�. Np.kiedy zagro�one jest Twoje, lub bliskich Ci os�b �ycie, a jedynym sposobem na obron� jest dowiedzie� sie czego� o przeciwniku, "zobaczenie" tego czego�.
*P�prawdy, p�ki co...s� dla Ciebie najlepsze, robaczku.* - pomy�la�am.

Jego spojrzenie wyra�a�o trosk� ale i mas� innych pyta�. Wyprzedzi�am je.
-S�uchaj. Nie b�d� Ci opowiada� o ca�ym moim �yciu, bo za kr�tko si� znamy. Poza tym s� sprawy, kt�re wol� zostawi� tylko sobie. Ok? Ty te�, jak i ka�dy, ma do tego prawo.
Popatrzy� na mnie troch� zawiedziony, ale po chwili u�miechn�� si� do mnie.
- Nie wyja�ni�a� mi jednak, co to za umiej�tno�ci posiadasz, a widz� �e to temat kt�rego usilnie unikasz.-wyszczerzy� z�by w u�miechu, rozpieraj�c si� wygodnie na swoim siedzisku.
*Cholera! Sama tego chcia�am, ch�opak jest uparty...*

===========================================================

-Jeste� uparty wiesz?!
U�miech...
-Wiem.
-To jest co�, czego i tak si� nie nauczysz szybciej ni� z jakie� 70lat...a i tak wtedy ju� nie b�dziesz mia� zbyt wiele czasu i energii na u�ywanie tego czego sie nauczy�e�.-pos�a�am mu jeden z moich u�miech�w a'la "daruj sobie"
-To, przepraszam �e pytam, jak ty si� tego nauczy�a�? -kpi�ce spojrzenie- Z prostej rachuby mia�aby� teraz jakie�......80/90lat?!
Moja twarz by�a nie przenikniona. Powoli z jego twarzy spe�za� u�miech, zast�puj�c go min� pe�n� nie�adnego niedowierzania....
-Nie czaruj, teraz to ju� kity wciskasz! - wyrzuci� z siebie
-A co? Chcia�e� odpowiedzi....
-Ale teraz przesadzasz, to jest niemo�liwe...- doda� ju� zdenerwowany.
-Uwierz mi, nie ma rzeczy niemo�liwych sa tylko trudne...
Odwr�ci�am sie i z zacz�am z wolna is� w stron� schod�w prowadz�cych na d�.
Us�ysza�am za sob� szmer i odg�os krok�w...I nagle....
B�ysk...odwr�t...Gest...odg�os przypominaj�cy dart� tkanin�...j�k...szybko wci�gni�te powietrze i wypuszczone z westchnieniem niedowierzania.............i.............cichy stukot upadaj�cej na kamienn� posadzk� r�d�ki....
Remus sta� kilka krok�w przede mn�, jego twarz by�a bez barwna, jakby ca�a krew z niej odp�yn�a. Sta�am z wyci�gni�t� w jego stron� r�k�, u�miechaj�c si� delikatnie. Jego r�d�ka le�a�a odrzucona moim zakl�ciem...
Jego spojrzenie uparcie tkwi�o w mojej pustej d�oni, na niedbale skierowanych palcach w jego kierunku....
-...j-jak?-g�os mu dr�a�
-Gdyby� s�ucha�....- westchn�am.
-Tylko dla tego �e u�y�am tego rodzaju magii, by�am w stanie odeprze� Tw�j atak, b�d� co b�d�.... w plecy- spojrza�am mu twardo w oczy.
-Przecie�...- zignorowa� sugesti� z mojej strony.
-Tak jak m�wi�, u�y�e� niewerbalnego zakl�cia, mia�e� przewag�....tylko �e ja nie potrzebowa�am �adnych formu�ek ani machania r�d�ka...to da�o mi szybko��.
-Ale sk�d wiedzia�a�?! - wreszcie jakby niewidzialne kajdany pu�ci�y, nagle i post�pi� kilka krok�w w moj� stron�....
-Nie wierzy�e�. Chcia�e� dowodu...To by�o nazbyt widoczne...nawet bez zagl�dania do Twoich my�li.
-A jednak!...-krzykn�� z triumfem -...wiedzia�em! Nie masz takich, niez�omnych zasad.
Co� we mnie przygas�o...a wiec o to mu chodzi�o. On wcale nie zamierza� sprawdzi� czy to co umiem jest prawd�. Chcia�a po prostu sprawdzi�...mnie....
Zrobi�o mi si�...wstyd....
-To nie tak jak my�lisz!- chcia�am naprawi� cokolwiek...
-Akurat! -podni�s� swoj� r�d�k� i wyprostowawszy si� spojrza� mi prosto w oczy - Nie wiem co chcesz osi�gn�� przez wciskanie mi tego wszystkiego, ale nie chc� wiedzie� nic wi�cej.
Chcia�am co� powiedzie�. Nie da� mi.
-Nie martw si�, wiem co to umowa...nie jestem tylko pewien co do Twojej obietnicy... Odwr�ci� sie i po prostu zbieg� schodami z wie�y zostawiaj�c mnie os�upia�� z ca�ym ba�aganem my�li.
Cholera! Jak to jest �e nasze intencje obracaj� si� tak �atwo przeciwko nam. Przecie� nie o to chodzi�o...Ugh!

Kot pojawi� si� jak zwykle znik�d.
-Oczywi�cie...gdyby� by�a mniej rozrzutna w s�owach.
-Zamknij sie!-warkn�am z zaci�ni�tymi w pi�ci d�o�mi.
-Masz jednak to co chcia�a�. Ten ch�opak ma w sobie honor. Nie zrobi nic przeciwko Tobie...tylko ju� nie pr�buj niczego polepsza�.
-Zje�d�aj stad!!!
-Tylko bez takich... - zni�y� niebezpiecznie cicho g�os - ...niepotrzebnych emocji.
Natychmiast zmitygowa�am dodaj�c cicho i spokojnie...
-Wiem...ale, on te� nie jest tak do ko�ca fair...uderzy� w plecy.
Cichy �miech i odpr�ony g�os- �adnego �ladu zniecierpliwienia.
-A czego sie spodziewa�a�?! Przecie� to Huncwot.
Zerkn�am na niego uwa�nie. Nie wykazywa� zaniepokojenia. Nic w jego postawie nie wskazywa�o na to, �eby�my musieli przejmowa� si� tym incydentem.
Odwr�ci�am twarz w stron� jeziora...s�o�ce przygasa�o...od strony wody dolecia� mnie ch�odny powiew wiatru i �miechy wracaj�cych z b�oni uczni�w...przymkn�am oczy.
*Nie umiem tak �atwo nie przejmowa� si� czyimi� emocjami....* -westchn�am
-Remus....

Do nast�pnego. Pa

Komentarze:

I've lost my bank card <a href=" http://www.providerman.com/purchase-bupropion.pptx ">purchase wellbutrin xl</a> They rank 23rd in the NFL in total offense (325.5 yards per game), 30th in scoring (15.2 points) and they’re gaining a miniscule 57.8 yards per game on the ground (30th). They have also turned the ball over a ridiculous 15 times.

A pension scheme <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?buy-alli-weight-loss.pptx ">can you buy alli at boots</a> Alternatives to get crude to New Brunswick might includemore imports, using other rail lines or tankers from the Gulf ofMexico. TransCanada Corp announced plans last week fora pipeline from Alberta in western Canada to the Atlantic, butthat would not be in full service until 2018.

Do you know the number for ? <a href=" http://www.ustm.pl/en/?buy-alli-weight-loss.pptx ">alli buy usa</a> Obama wants the government to play a more limited and targeted role in supporting the mortgage market, according to an administration official, one in which private capital must be wiped out before the federal government provides any &#8220;catastrophic guarantee.&#8221;

Could I have , please? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?nioxin-wikipedia.pptx#vision ">what does nitroxin do</a> Even so, over 30 per cent of pregnant women in the most deprived communities still smoke when they book their first antenatal appointment. That contrasts with around 6 per cent in the least deprived. There is a similar stark disparity in the number of smoking mums recorded when health visitors drop by for the first time – 29 per cent in the poorest areas compared to 5 per cent among the wealthiest. This highlights the need for tailored support services in every community.

Yes, I love it! <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?penatropin-review-forum.pptx ">penatropin how it works</a> Alex Kramm, an analyst at UBS who follows TD Ameritrade,asked Tomczyk on the earnings call whether the stagnant marginbalances reflected the firm's own failure to aggressively pushmargin lending. The executive responded that TD Ameritrade,puzzled earlier this year by persistently low margin balances,researched the issue and attributed the phenomenon to Apple.

Where do you study? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?what-is-mastigra-100.pptx "></a> "The deal brings no benefit to minority shareholders sinceit's all at the holding level," said Stefano Fabiani, a fundmanager at Zenit Sgr. "But valuing Telecom Italia shares at 1.09euros has set a theoretical upside."

We're at university together <a href=" http://www.lessor.se/cheap-suregasm.pptx#nan ">suregasm review</a> The News also reported that MLB has already interviewed 10 players believed to be involved with Biogenesis, including Milwaukee Brewer Ryan Braun, but that the players had invoked baseball’s version of the Fifth Amendment, refusing to answer certain questions. A-Rod is expected to do the same.

I'd like to open a business account <a href=" http://www.lessor.se/kamni-capsule-review.pptx#pre ">kamni capsule cost</a> Following his split from singer Shirley Collie in the early 70s, Willie Nelson went one better than most break-up records and produced a country concept album about divorce. One half was devoted to the woman&rsquo;s perspective, tired of being there for her unfaithful husband and seeking her own life, while the other followed the husband&rsquo;s gradual realisation that his wastrel ways have lost him his woman. Riding the fine line between maudlin wallowing and emotional heft, it&rsquo;s an engaging, evocative journey.

It's funny goodluck <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-nqs/#accent ">buy ventolin online hfr</a> Throughout the 1980s and 1990s it was blamed for a number of terrorist attacks against civilians outside Lebanon’s borders, primarily against Israeli and Jewish targets. After the war ended Hezbollah was the only faction not to disarm, claiming it needed weapons to repel any attempts by Israel to invade again. It put its vast arsenal to use in 2006 when Israel attacked in response to a cross-border raid that killed a number of its soldiers. The conflict saw Israeli jets pummel Lebanese infrastructure and civilian areas, while Hezbollah in turn fired thousands of rockets back into Israel. More than 1,000 Lebanese and more than 100 Israelis were killed, but the fact that Israel was unable to occupy Lebanon led to Hezbollah claiming a victory. That perceived triumph bolstered support for the group across the Arab world, as many viewed it as the only viable resistance to Israel’s hegemony in the region.
<a href=" http://www.pixelmade.com/buy-propecia-jpf ">purchase propecia fga</a> Just one member of the next generation of Daleys, Richard J. Daley's grandson, currently holds elected office. Patrick Daley Thompson won a seat on the Chicago Metropolitan Water Reclamation District last year.

Can you put it on the scales, please? <a href=" http://www.megliopossibile.com/buy-prozac-xguh ">buy prozac jijt</a> The main reason for fast and furious was not to track firearms like Linebacker was but, to put massive amounts of weapons into Mexico from gun stores on the border so that then oblamo, holder and Clinton could then go on the tv every night and blame the law abiding citizens of the US and the legal gun dealers for all of the crime in Mexico. Oblamo did not inform Mexico that they were behind it but instead told Mexico it was the US citizens doing it. Oblamo, holder and Clinton blamed all of the murders on the people of this country that were law abiding gun owners and dealers when it was them doing it. They made sure to tell everyone every night about all of the deaths in Mexico that amazingly all stopped once fast and furious also stopped!!!
<a href=" http://www.megliopossibile.com/buy-prozac-tctf ">buy prozac lfgm</a> The iShares Barclays TIPS Bond fund, which I hold in my 401(k) account, holds inflation-indexed bonds. With a 4.7-percent annualized return over the past three years, it's returned more than twice what the SPDR Gold Trust has offered, which has gained only about 2 percent over the same period.

Would you like a receipt? <a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/order-ventolin-nqs/#too ">order ventolin online cck</a> MSNBC contributor Imogen Lloyd Weber puts the significance of the Duke and Duchess’s baby into perspective, “The queen is still figurehead to 2 billion people—that’s a third of the world…This baby secures and symbolizes the future of the royal family for decades to come.”
<a href=" http://www.ntlea.com.au/ventolin-wyw/#offspring ">buy cheap ventolin jkr</a> He has chosen the baseball summer of 2013 to be his last. He still hopes for one more baseball October. But all this time after he broke into the big leagues, all this time after we first saw his immense promise as we were first seeing it with Alex Rodriguez, he leaves without being asked to leave. And with his head high. Of course it is the opposite with Rodriguez.

Could I have a statement, please? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?fake-magna-rx.pptx ">magna rx overdose</a> On Saturday, Dimon said banks are already spending "huge amounts" of money preparing for the possibility of a default, which he said would threaten the global recovery after the 2007-2009 financial crisis.

I'm not interested in football <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?fake-magna-rx.pptx ">costo magna rx</a> While large, corporate creditors are apt to tap similarly colossal law firms with whom they have preexisting relationships, smaller or locally-based stakeholders may opt to hire attorneys native to Detroit.

What university do you go to? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?vitalex-plus.pptx ">vitalex reviews </a> Existing sanctions have already reduced OPEC member Iran'soil exports by more than half from pre-sanction levels of about2.2 million barrels per day (bpd), costing Tehran billions ofdollars a month in lost revenue.

I like watching TV <a href=" http://prednisonebuy.info/#discussion ">prednisone 50 mg for 5 days</a> ESTABLISHED PLEDGED REVENUE STREAM: Matching funds are an established revenue stream based on federal law derived from substantially all excise taxes imposed and collected on certain products (primarily rum) produced and exported to the U.S.
<a href=" http://alotofpills.com/zebeta/ ">buy bisoprolol</a> The European Union also opened a pipeline that could supplyUkraine with 20 percent of its natural gas needs, important aidfor a country that depends on Russian energy

What do you do for a living? <a href=" http://prednisonebuy.info/#experienced ">prednisone tablets for sale</a> Citigroup, which reported a better-than-expected 13 percent rise in adjusted third-quarter net profit, is returning to an earlier structure of concentrating its extensive global reach on business clients by pruning its consumer businesses worldwide.
<a href=" http://prednisonebuy.info/ ">what color is prednisone 20 mg</a> The ruling would be a steptoward potential retaliation if packaging laws are not changed.

I didn't go to university <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?hightenz.pptx ">hightenz review</a> &#x201c;You have stress if you don&#x2019;t play well or you get hurt,&#x201d; Kaman said. &#x201c;But on the other side, you want to play well, but you don&#x2019;t want to force anything. You don&#x2019;t want to try to do too much. The best part is not to think about it and just go out there and play. Work hard everyday like you&#x2019;re supposed to, and get yourself ready for the season. When each opportunity comes, take advantage of it. That&#x2019;s all you can do.&#x201d;

Do you know the number for ? <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?super-lara-gold.pptx ">buy super lara online</a> Also Sunday, a railing collapsed at the Colts game against the Raiders in Indianapolis, injuring two unidentified fans who were leaning against the barrier above the tunnel leading to Oakland's locker room.

Not in at the moment <a href=" http://uni-hilft.de/?climinax-forum.pptx#aversion ">where can i get climinax</a> Cancer Research Technology (CRT), the commercialisation and development arm of Cancer Research UK, has formed an alliance with FormaTherapeutics, a US-based company focused on developing transformative small-molecule cancer therapies, to explore the biological implications and applications of deubiquitinating enzymes (DUBs).

I'm a member of a gym <a href=" http://www.providerman.com/trental-purchase.pptx ">purchase trental</a> Meanwhile, back on the search front, you might have recently noticed that the search bar at the top of Facebook is bigger than it once was. That's Graph Search. With the updated search engine, you can still look for friends and pages by name, just like you normally would, but you can also use simple phrases to find something specific pertaining to people, photos, places, and interests.

« 1 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 »

| Script by Alex